Monday, December 29, 2003

'Rings' Movie Inspires Saddam Offer to Find Bin Laden

(2003-12-23) -- A surprise offer by Saddam Hussein to personally lead U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney to Usama bin Laden's mountain hideaway may have been inspired by one of 'Lord of the Rings' movies he has watched while being held by the U.S. military.

Mr. Hussein apparently suggested the idea after viewing 'The Two Towers', the second movie in the trilogy.

While any chance to get Mr. Bin Laden might seem welcome, especially from someone with suspected ties to the al Qaeda leader, the proposal has reportedly caused a "friendly rift" in the Bush administration over whether Saddam can be trusted.

Sources describe Saddam has being humiliated by his capture, somewhat deranged from his time underground and overly influenced by the character 'Gollum' in the 'The Two Towers.'

Mr. Cheney is said to empathize with the former Iraqi leader since he and Saddam have both spent long periods isolated in undisclosed locations and have backgrounds in the petroleum business.

Saddam recently told interrogators, "We'll be nice to them if they'll be nice to us. We swears to do what you wants. We swears to serve the master of the petrol [his nickname for Mr. Cheney]. We will swear on...on the petrol! Yes, on the petrol; on the petrol."

However, U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld allegedly told Mr. Cheney, "He's trying to trick us. There's no promise Saddam can make that you can trust."

An unnamed White House official said that if the vice president accepts Saddam's offer, he not only risks offending his long-time colleague, Mr. Rumsfeld, but he may sacrifice is own life.

"But if he doesn't follow Saddam to Bin Laden's mountain lair," the source added, "we may lose our last best chance to destroy this evil forever."

from Scrappleface


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