Tuesday, September 02, 2003

University Blues

Yesterday was one of the crispy, strong days of impending autumn where I feel misplaced anywhere but not walking to class. It has been quite a few years since I have gone on the trek from a dorm to a lecture hall, with a backpack full of pristine notebooks, virgin pens, and benign thoughts about how this year is going to be different.
  • I will not spend all my time in a lab.
  • I will not put one deadline above another.
  • I will not ignore classes in favour of paid work

Of course I do. I spend too much time in a lab. I do not spend enough time in a library studying. I never quite care enough about International Finance and, for some reason, care too much about finishing some inconsequential module for my employer. I consistently pull all-nighters because someone was going to the movies, or watched TV, or needed a buddy. What's worse, for these things I remain unrepentant.

And as new school year begins yet again, I yearn to be back in class instead of the office. Especially this year, when some of my very best friends have gone back to school. I again get to listen to classroom woes and fun facts. I realize now that parallel universes do exist. They are called school. Places where real life is almost the same, or almost real. As real as a huge fishtank for a small fish. Decisions seem terribly important, matters are weighted, and contexts assembled. And then we get out of school and see how the context was skewed, weights misplaced, and all that remains in memory are strong autumn days and long winter nights.

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